Focus on only positive topics of conversation – Tonight you have selective memory, recalling only that you have great aspects of your personality, job, family and finances. There is no need to lie or be deceitful here – simply highlight the aspects of those topics that work in your favour and if you feel the need to discuss the negatives then deal with them briefly if you must. It's not just about presenting a good light, but also that the other person does not want to hear about negatives, problems or failures. This is meant to be a happy time!
Keep the conversation light – Avoid talking too much about heavy topics. Keep in mind that your date has likely been asked ‘so, what do you do?' a LOT so far tonight so try thinking of something new and original. Discuss how you're feeling or what experience you have had so far on the evening or even what you are experiencing right now. Share a secret perhaps. Or, try some cheeky jokes with your date. Stuff like ‘Hmmm I wonder where my match card is? I haven't needed it until now!'
Get animated with your stories - Use your hands and body make your message more interesting – 70% of all communication is non-verbal. Words are not as important as the tone of your voice and they way you communicate physically. Have fun with your stories and make them interesting!
Touch the other person gently during a moment of laughter or connection – Establishes rapport, breaks down barriers and is absolutely essential for highly kinesthetic types who must use physical touch to fully express their feelings. The more comfortable the person is with being touched on the elbow or arm the more quickly your rapport will develop. But here's the thing – lay off with the touching if it's not being reciprocated or if the body language is negative (folded arms, moves away a little when you touch or looks at the touch when you do it)
Be self-assured but not arrogant – If you're not sold on how good you are as a person, then why would anyone else be? Before the evening, concentrate on your positives, not your negatives. Allow yourself to remember all of your good traits so that you think ‘damn, I'm a great catch!'. During the
date take a second to go over in your mind some of the fantastic things you would like to do for this person if you were to continue dating them and you'll realize that you could be the greatest gift they have ever had. This will give you the self confidence to be yourself, relax and take some conversational risks!
Lots of eye contact – Maintaining lots of eye contact is really important in establishing trust and connection. A common phrase in acting circles is ‘the eyes have it!' which means that the audience can tell a great deal about the character on screen by what's happening in their eyes. Don't let your eyes get distracted behind the person you're communicating with. This is very off-putting for your date so make the effort to give your full attention! The eyes are the gateway to the soul…give your date a wonderful gift and let them see right in.
Vary your personal space – Lean in at some point in the conversation for a touch or to whisper something an then lean away again. By varying your personal spaces you will establish more intimacy and maintain interest with your date.
Don’t slouch - Sit comfortably upright in your chair. You posture will dictate your enthusiasm in the current situation. Sitting up straight shows alertness and interest.
Don’t fold your arms - Keep your body open and facing the other person. If you like this person, don’t fold your arms. If you don’t like this person, or something they have said, then go right ahead. Folding your arms is the most definitive way to turn someone off. Besides giving your date the finger, folding your arms is probably the next most obvious way of saying ‘I’m just not that into you!’...
- Arrive 20 minutes before the start time to allow so you can get settled, relax and mingle
- When the bell rings, wrap up conversation and politely move on. Guys, don’t create a backlog behind you by rudely continuing to chat on and on
- Take advantage of the breaks and the end of the night to chat to the people you are most interested in
- Take some notes about each person or you may forget what you talked about later
- Remember - Smile, smile and more smiles
- Become friends with the host – he or she has probably had more opportunity to observe and comment on the other participants you’re interested in
- Don’t drink too much – this can be a real turn off for your dates, not to mention become embarrassing for you after a certain point!
- Dress to impress! You don’t get a second chance to make a first impression!
- Wear perfume/cologne and ensure your breath is fresh! A no-brainer for girls, but fellas this is crucial! Women have a keener sense of smell than men and will notice it if you are wearing a nice scent. Amazingly, many men don’t wear cologne so it’s a great way for guys to differentiate themselves from the pack.